Praying Scary Prayers
Psalm 34:6 — In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles.
Some of the hardest prayers I’ve ever prayed have been for my son.
And honestly, they haven’t been very long or eloquent.
Sometimes, they’ve been just five words.
“God, do whatever it takes.”
I’ve been spending a lot of time lately on the prayer wall at 887thecross.com.
Not just reading other people’s requests and praying for them, but bringing my own heartache before God.
Because right now, I’m praying hard for my son, Anthony, and his wife, Christy.
They’ve pretty much shut us out of their lives.
And I won’t pretend that doesn’t hurt.
If you’re a mom or dad, you know there are a lot of things you spend your life trying to fix.
A scraped knee? You grab a Band-Aid.
A broken heart? You sit down and listen.
A difficult day? Sometimes a phone call, a conversation, or a really good hug can make things a little better.
But then there are the things you can’t fix.
The phone calls that go unanswered.
The conversations you wish you could have.
The distance between you and someone you love that you have absolutely no idea how to close.
And that’s where I am.
I can’t fix this.
I can’t make someone pick up the phone.
I can’t force a relationship to heal.
And I certainly can’t change someone’s heart.
So I’ve found myself praying a prayer that, if I’m being honest, scares me a little.
“God, do whatever it takes. Bring him back to You first. And then, Lord, if it’s Your will, bring him back to us.”
Now, I don’t pray that because I want something bad to happen.
Quite the opposite.
I pray it because I love my son, and I want God’s very best for his life.
But praying those words means admitting something I don’t particularly enjoy admitting.
I’m not in control.
And when it’s someone you love with your whole heart, that’s a hard thing to accept.
Maybe you understand.
Maybe there’s a name you carry around in your heart, too.
A son. A daughter. A spouse. A parent. A friend.
Someone who’s walked away.
Someone you can’t seem to reach anymore.
Someone you’ve cried over, worried about, and prayed for more times than you can count.
And you’ve finally run out of things to say.
That’s why I love Psalm 34:6.
David writes, “In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened.”
Did you catch that?
In my desperation.
Not when I had everything figured out.
Not when I finally found the perfect words.
Not when I knew exactly how things were going to turn out.
In my desperation.
David cried out to God, and God heard him.
And while I don’t know how my story with Anthony and Christy will unfold, I do know that the same God who heard David hears me.
Even when my prayers come through tears.
Even when all I can manage is a name.
Even when I don’t know what else to ask.
God doesn’t need me to have the answers before I come to Him.
He just invites me to come.
And here’s something I’m learning.
Giving someone to God doesn’t mean you stop loving them.
It doesn’t mean you stop hoping.
And it certainly doesn’t mean you stop praying.
It means you recognize that God’s hands are far more capable than yours.
It means you can keep loving someone, even when you can’t change the situation.
And it means trusting God with a story whose ending you cannot see.
Right now, that’s what I’m trying to do.
I pray for Anthony.
I pray for Christy.
I ask God to draw them close to Him, to protect them, to guide them, and to do the work in their hearts that only He can do.
And then I try, with everything in me, to leave them in His hands.
Some days, I do better at that than others.
Some days, I give them to God in the morning and find myself picking that worry right back up before lunchtime.
Maybe you know what that’s like, too.
But I’m learning that surrender isn’t always one big moment.
Sometimes it’s a prayer you have to pray again tomorrow.
And the next day.
And the next.
So, friend, if there’s someone you’re carrying today, can I encourage you?
You don’t have to know what God is going to do to trust Him with what you can’t control.
You don’t have to stop loving them.
You don’t have to stop praying for them.
But you can stop believing that everything depends on you.
Say their name.
Tell God how much you love them.
Tell Him how much it hurts.
Ask Him to work in ways you cannot.
And then, as best you can, place them in His hands.
Because the hardest part of prayer isn’t always asking God to do something.
Sometimes, it’s trusting Him enough to let go of what you were never able to control.
And if you find yourself reaching for that worry again tomorrow?
Pray again.
He’s still listening.
A MOMENT TO REFLECT
- Is there someone you love whose choices or circumstances have left you feeling helpless? Have you been trying to carry responsibility for something you cannot control?
- What makes it difficult for you to surrender someone you love into God’s hands?
- Have you ever felt that your prayers weren’t enough because you couldn’t find the right words? How does Psalm 34:6 encourage you?
- What’s the difference between giving up on someone and entrusting them to God?
- Is there a name you need to bring before God today—not with a plan for how everything should turn out, but with a willingness to trust Him?
QUESTION TO CARRY WITH YOU TODAY
Whose name am I holding so tightly that I need to place them back into God’s hands?
